Underminers

What is it with people who want to suck the joy out of your successes and make you feel like you are a three year old who just wrote on the wall with a Sharpie?  I know how that part feels- except it was green crayon, and my brother Steven did it when we were kids, but blamed me. In the end we both got in trouble, and that was before parents chose to speak to their kids instead of paddle them.

I am really trying to get to the root of it. When you announce something really exciting, why do they do the opposite of encourage?  Because...

They fear the unknown.
They don't understand, but can't ask intelligent questions to get to the root of their misunderstanding.
They know not how to be supportive, only to cut you down.
It makes them feel better to put others down.
Secretly, they are freakin' jealous.

Today, I am choosing to surround myself with positive, encouraging, supportive people. The haters can find someone else to hate on.

BUCKET LIST

Yesterday, I crossed off a major life-list item: I became my own boss!  The LLC package arrived with my paperwork and it was so surreal.  I almost tackled FedEx delivery man on the driveway.

Within hours I even had my first request for employment at SleeveShirt Consulting LLC. Gotta love my supportive peeps.

Stay tuned for updates on my new professional identity, logo, etc.  I will be focusing on marketing consultantcy out of the comfort of my own home.

DayCare for Dummies

Seems to me that if you are going to grow up to become the Director of a Daycare there are a few prerequisite courses you should ace before being assigned a license to operate:

1) Email 101: Returning parents emails, not just the first one where they express interest and you see dollar signs.

2) Greetings 202: Smiling goes a long way when you are sitting behind your desk watching parents go in and out of your daycare to drop off/pick up your kids.  Drop the blackberry and give me a little wave.

3) Greetings 203: Introduction to Small Talk.  I get it. You see hundreds of parents a day. But if I'm a parent and I'm new to the center, it's the least that you could do to try to get to know me a little better before you cash  my CHECK each week.

Right now it's sad that the only thing keeping me here is that we're there part time, 2 half days a week and Natalie is getting a lot out of it.  If we bump up to FT or more days, I may bolt.

Social(ly awkward) Networking

Still getting the hang of Twitter, week one. I jumped on the bandwagon only after a family member said I posted too frequently to my Facebook page. I'm sorry Andy, but if my posts were the majority of your FB feeds, then you know what? You need more friends. And the friends you have are BORING.

Too give Andy a break, I think he befriended me on a day I was complaining about a bad hair day. Next time, my dog had just stolen garlic bread off the table and we were eagerly waiting to find out where she would puke. Ok, not my finest FB moments. (and he let me know it).

But, as I strive to be witty on my posts I don't always get there. I think that's why I like Twitter. You don't get much back from the Universe, its just out there. Yes, I had pumpkin pie at 9:40am this morning. If I had posted that to FB, my mom would have been ON me. But thankfully she can only handle one social networking site - and to be honest, she still doesn't have a picture up, so she's not that far along on "spacebook" (as my father in law calls it).

A few of the new people I'm choosing to follow on Twitter:
Bob Harper- if he were following me, he would have been really pissed about the pie.
Oprah- you can tell she doesn't really want to be Tweeting, but I can't ever get enough from her.
Ashton Kutcher- don't know what he's saying half the time, but he's entertaining for now.
Ellen- when IDOL kicks off, I'm sure her posts will be FUN
you? Befriend me: MamaSleeveShirt

See you in the Twitterverse!

Fort Mill, SC

Received some unexpected flack upon returning home from vacation. Apparently, with a few drinks in me, I did nothing but slam my new hometown of Fort Mill, SC.

I recalled a few instances when I was doing so- but since the hubby wasn't in the car, it must have meant that I was doing it a lot during the week. Little jabs, here and there, but enough to panic my husband that we have made a HUGE mistake in moving here.

Argh. Sorry.

I couldn't take back what I said- and after reflecting upon it, I really didn't have a different opinion. I have lived in more place than most (but less than my military friends).

Long Island, NY- more specifically, East Northport, NY. Born and raised. It's where a lot of family still remains. Robert Moses Beach #5 during the summers. Romantic moments on the pier at Northport Harbor. My first tattoo in Centereach. Cruising Deer Park avenue (what the hell were we looking for when we were cruising?) We go back about once a year, but the traffic and thick LI accents usually have us rolling our eyes within minutes. Like to visit- especially when we can swing through Manhattan, but don't ever want to live there again.

Washington DC metro- Arlington, Alexandria. Be still my heart. I look back so fondly during this time. I was a newlywed. We got our first apartment. We bought our first house...Adopted a dog. Had my share of bad jobs, and bad commutes, but driving past the monuments on my way to work was always special. I even found it hard to complain about getting stuck behind a motorcade because..How freaking cool that I just saw President Jimmy Carter? Or when I saw Muhammad Ali by the metro...or Newt Gingrich and Cokie Roberts in the parking garage?? George Stefanapolous is really, really short. Heck, I could go on and on. I also met my best friend during this time. Next year will be our 10 yr friendship anniversary. WOW. Being in DC means you are on the pulse of the nation and the world. One of the things I miss the most is the evening news. I felt so wordly. Where I am now- you hear about the man arrested for having sex with his horse. (I wish I were joking).

Cary, NC- this was an unexpected move. We were settled in our jobs/life in DC. I was preggers, and a job offer came up that we couldn't pass up. I had planned to keep working after baby when we were still in DC- but it almost seemed like perfect timing to stop work at 7 months, move to a new city, set up a new house and nest. This is where we brought home our daughter. Installed a fabulous bird feeder that we could watch from our breakfast nook and met a lot of very cool friends. I don't know what I would have done without some of the ladies I met after giving birth- being a stay at home mom was so different and so challenging. We really relied on each other for sanity. We nested in Cary for almost 4 years before our next move.

Fort Mill, SC - or as I like to say, Charlotte, NC- because that would mean that we've at least stayed in NORTH Carolina as opposed to South. Truly we're 2-3 miles south of the border. I do most of my shopping, errands in NC, but SC just gives me the willies a bit. The job opportunity was the grandest of all- a great way to catapult hubby's job into a high profile career. Plus it married his talents with his favorite hobby: Cars. He is challenged but he's also fulfilled. Who could ask for more? Well, me I guess.

I've dropped a job each time we've made a move. My very first job out of college when we got married. Then my Ad agency job in DC. Then the high paying pharmaceutical job with the good benefits. Sheesh. Does anyone see a pattern here? Right now I'm playing the part of Suzie-homemaker. Clipping coupons, making crafts, keeping a preschooler busy, trying not to spend money, wishing I still could afford to get my hair cut at a really nice salon. But we've traded.

My goals are to do more in the city of Charlotte- explore more, see what else there is to offer. It won't ever replace DC in my heart, but its home (for now...)

Ice cream anti-social

What could be more friendly? Ice cream, balloons, kids? Today we attended a family event in our clubhouse as one last hurrah for those kids going back to school tomorrow (WOW..they go back early in the South).

As if we were magnets, the Grumps (grumpy family that we keep running into), pulled their golf cart right next to our minivan in the parking lot. First strike.

The event room was done really cute- Nat was excited. After a quick "Hi My Name is.." application we headed straight for the ice cream table. And then we stood uncomfortably for 20 minutes until we planned our escape.

I should really speak for myself. My hubby could talk to a wall and make a new friend, but something about this event just had me running for the hills. Natalie was more than friendly. Even tapped the severly crippled girl who joined her at her table to ensure she knew she was saying 'hello!' I scanned the room. Saw no familiar faces except for the Grumps (who I had enough with during swimming lessons this summer, and who I already know we'll be seeing at Ballet..argh).

I don't know what it is about making new friends in my 30s that bugs me out so much. For one thing, I feel like my friend quota is filled. I have family up the whazoo in our neighborhood, a good rapport with long-distance cousins, and some really close BFFs to rely on. Do I need to befriend these neighborhood moms and dads? Were there any in the room that were feeling as out of place as I was?

My only comfort was knowing that when we departed that my new bottle of wine should have chilled by now...

Arrivals

Refresh, refresh, refresh.

The JetBlue home page is going to boot me off any second because I keep checking on Colleen and Jacks arrival.

Very excited to have the two of them for a long weekend-- and to see the little man crawl! Nana is going be even more excited than me-- she talks about her great-grandkids all the time.

Outlet covers installed...check. Small toys (mostly) out of reach...check. Stocked fridge...check.
I'm READY!

Privacy, please?

When did my right to bathroom privacy go out the window? Oh right. Probably when Natalie came shooting out of my va-jay-jay.

It's a good potty training tool to show your child the ins and outs of the bathroom. But somewhere between education and every day life, my bathroom door has become a revolving one. If you make it a quick visit you can get in and out relatively unscathed. Stay in for longer than a few minutes, and she's right up in your grill. "What are you doing Mama? What's that smell?"

Argh...

Tonight, to cap off a stressful day, and a late husband... my daughter refused to eat dinner. We must have sat there for an hour trying to coax her. I was really gearing up for some Mommy-time.. You know...the kind where I can mentally and physically check out and have a glass of wine (or two!).

As we concluded dinner and counted it as a loss I began the clean up. Right around then Hubby declares he's off to the men's room. This seems to trigger Nat hanging on my leg begging for help with xyz... Great Mommy moment here: I just brush her off and say.. "Go find your father".

While I'm hauling recyclables out to the street Natalie comes running out to tell me that I need to help her because Dad is on the potty.

HUH? Since when does the dad get a pass for bathroom breaks and the mom is always handed the Go to Jail, Go Directly to Jail...Do Not Pass Go!! card?

I need to come back in my next life as a man.

Are you settled yet?

I think its a question that is raised by people who have not moved in many, many years.

At current post, I have about 30 boxes stacked in my foyer with curtains draped on my dining room table and dust collecting in every corner. (no matter how much I swiffer)

Its been 2 months since we closed on the house, but it is really proving to be an undertaking to get "settled". As the honey-do list grows, the weekend hours seem to dwindle as we participate in fun summer activities. Thankfully, this was a 3 day weekend, so we have tried to maximize every hour with a few trips to Lowe's, one unsuccessful trip to Home Depot (why do we even bother going there at all?) and lots of elbow grease.

Ok, I can't admit to much elbow grease. Over lunch I said to Kevin..'Wow, what a relaxing Sunday...' and he glared at me in his paint covered shirt as he then recounted how bad his back hurt from standing on the ladder to paint. Whoops. I guess I'm a good art director and not such a good laborer.

Should have some new pics to post of our office soon.... Furniture arrives Wednesday and then we can unpack some of the 30 boxes that constitute our "library/office" schtuff....

What were you thinking lady?

Have you been to the mall lately? I haven't... its honestly been a while. But since I was there last, it seems that the quantity of kiosks has grown significantly. As if with our depression....err, recession, small business owners have taken to the streets with their wares and ALL landed at the mall.

For the most part, I've got the whole process down smooth:
- Don't make eye contact
- Walk fast, especially if they are trying to make eye contact with you.
- A quick, "no thank you" if they actually try to stir up conversation

As we have been outfiting the new house, we have had to make a few trips to the mall recently. On one such trip Natalie was doing a good job listening and when the Fruit Smoothie woman offered her a little sample off of her tray I was actually thankful. Nat got a sweet treat, and I spent $0.

Fast forward one week. We're back at the mall. And since we had no appointments that day we strolled a bit through the mall. (That was mistake #1). Mistake #2 was thinking that these kiosk people had common sense. We meandered past a woman holding a sample tray of something. I honestly was doing really good at my "Don't make eye contact" and "walk fast" rules that I didn't care to notice. We were approached with some verbal cues, but both my mom and I both said "No thank you".

What happened next was incredible. My 3 year old daughter held her hand up...the woman handed her a sample cup and Natalie licked it thinking it was a smoothie. It was hand lotion.

I FUH-REAKED OUT and screamed Nooooooo!! (you know how low and slow it comes out in slow motion?) Then I tried wiping it off her tongue before she swallowed. The scowl on my face didn't do my emotions justice. Natalie thought my screaming fit was directed at her so she immediately burst into tears thinking she did something wrong. (Nothing a little FlaVorIce couldn't fix when we got home).

Dear Kiosk Lady: If two adults deny your product, what makes you think that you have any right to hand the sample to a child?

Question of Ethics

At closing you could feel the tension across the lawyers table. We got a darn good deal on their house. And they weren't happy about it.

He was tall, bald and snarky, with a much prettier wife than he probably deserved. She tried to get out of closing at the last minute claiming to have thrown her back out. We both agreed, she was on some pretty good pain meds which barely allowed her to hold the pen to sign the 100 papers.

Pleasantries were few. When we asked what a particular light switch did in the kitchen next to the fridge we got shrugs. You lived there how many years and couldn't tell us what that switch controls? Really? They could care less about sharing info now.

Fast foward one month. We've been living here ONE month give or take a day when FedEx dropped off a package. I opened it because it was addressed to MY address, and had an unrecognizable business name in the "To" section.

3 XL mens golf shirts. Who orders something on May 27th and ships it to your OLD address? Not only did we close a month ago, but the house has been vacant since last fall. Do I try to find the previous home owners? They didn't so much as give us a forwarding phone number or address at closing. Do I go next door and ask one of the neighbors if they can pass-along these shirts?

Or... Do I find a friend who is XL and bestow upon them a very early Merry Xmas? Hmm....

Where does the time go?

- to work.. 8+ hours a day. Not always in a fun job. Jobs usually give you headaches. Next job- I need to find something I really love. Until then, I will enjoy every penny of the severance package and soak up the mommy&me time. Gives me a warm fuzzy when Natalie says, "mama, you're the best!" out of nowhere.

- to sleeping. Ah.. I love sleep. More so now that I have a child and can't just sleep until I want to. I used to be an up-and-atem kinda girl, but now when my feet are tickled awake I grumble, roll over and try to fend off the full on body tickles from Natalie. Ok, its not a horrible way to wake up.

- to travel. When you go somewhere, why does it always feel like you've been gone forever? Did some reflection, and although my passport needs updating, I certainly have racked up a lot of air mileage. Look forward to more!

- to busy stuff. Errands, eating, mowing the lawn, packing, unpacking, laundry, sweeping, vaccuuming, reading emails, grocery shopping, clothes shopping, shoe shopping, surfing the net, watching the news, watching all the other stuff I've dvr'ed. Loved the Oprah episode where she challenged two families to go technology-less for 7 days and to make family-time a priority. Could we do it? Hmm... Would make the laundry much more fun if we were all doing it while singing like the Patridge Family.

Resilience

Natalie is really taking to our new surroundings. Two very important parts of her resilience: Uncle and Baby Cousin.

Can't you just hear the belly giggles?

Best Day EVER

Could it get any better?

I went to bed early last night. Just needed the extra zzzzz's.
I awoke to new fallen snow.
I exercised my flexible work option to work-from-home.
I made snow angels in the backyard to my daughter's giggles.
I watched non-stop coverage of Obama's Inauguration.

Couldn't get much better than today. Can't wait to see what lies ahead in '09!

Mama Mia!!

Mama Mia Mother Nature is looking down on me-- I really wanted to take off for the Inauguration so I could sit at home and weep by my lonesome.

Instead I kept weekly con calls on my calendar and booked a few more for good measure.

Then AHA! The Raleigh weather comes through!!! Ok, its only 2-4", but that shuts the city down for at least 24 hours.

I took all precautions- snagged all important files, packed the laptop and skipped on out to my car this evening.

I may still have some work to do tomorrow, but at least I won't have to hide my Barack T-Shirt under my cardigan.

The Joy Luck Club

Update: A couple is interested in buying our house. They have been looking for a while, but when they came to our house yesterday they liked it so much they sent for one of their moms. Great sign! When we followed back up with our realtor she had an odd question for us: Have we had good luck in the home?

Good luck? Yessiree! We wouldn't be moving except for this great opportunity in front of us. We wouldn't have updated our TOP OF THE NOTCH kitchen if we were planning on leaving. We love this house. We brought our daughter home from the hospital here- we made it our own... we planned on staying a loooooong time.

While we are waiting for a formal offer to come through, I managed to burn out our shredder. We looked at each other.. thought, well, put the papers on the fire. I broke the glass door right off the screen and it shattered into a million tiny pieces.

The shop vac just came in...I better go help with clean up.

PS: Don't let this deter you home buyers... Our home is full of luck. (Disclosure: Last week our garage door broke and we spent $600 last night on repairs. I guess I'm a big 'ol liar).

Fake Teeth, Toe Implants and Hot Dogs

What is up with these desperate bachelorettes? It is seriously, more painful than the first few weeks of IDOL.

And the critics of PEOPLE magazine are right. Jason must be a distant relative of George Bush? Think I might want to throw a shoe at him.

Richardson to withdraw as Commerce secretary

New Mexico governor cites pending investigation of business dealings

Are you kidding me people? Why did you waste our time running for President if you had a bad enough "business deal" to get you ousted from Secretary of Commerce. The only thing you have going for you is that you shaved that silly goatee.

dust bunnies revolt

I have a confession to make. During my vacation, I ranted a good long while about people who aren't able to keep their home clean. Admittedly I have a reason or two to be manic about my home being dust free right now- one being severe allergies to dust (thank you Dyson Animal!).

After my guests retired to the open road of I-95, I began to straighten up a guest room. To my horror I found what had to be an inch of dust on night stands. To make matters worse-- my highly asthmatic BFF slept in that room! AAAHHH???? Will she ever forgive me?

Dust Bunnies revolted on my big mouth. Mortified!!!